A new phrase quickly making its way into our workplace lingo is, "May I borrow your fruit knife?" This phrase is understood to be code for, "I'm about to stick a shiv in someone."
The variant, "Where is your fruit knife?", often expelled in duple iterations, is likewise understood to take on the slightly more emphatic meaning, "Seriously, I'm about to cut the bitch."
The quick rise in usage is seen to have a correlation in the popularity of summer stone fruit among staff and a general sense of unrest.
There is some expectation that use of these catchy new phrases will taper off as autumnal fruits come into season.
My thanks to John and Katie Koellen for providing said knife as a holiday gift to staff. I have found it comes in quite handy.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
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5 comments:
Who in the world thought the church was not in tune with the street? It's just veiled.
Sounds very scary.
Sorry, I forgot to ask if that fruit knife can double as a cheese gouger? (Just checked that spelling in my Funk & Wagnall's, & it's correct. The word is Celtic. No wonder we came up with it in northern Spain.)
Yes, Lit, my fruit knife is also a fully functional cheese gouger however I rarely take it on expeditions with me because museums and gummint buildings frown on members of the public who attempt to enter with weapons. Better to gouge cheese with a spork.
So . . . will they let us check the bag at the door? It makes one less thing to tote for a couple of hours? That's always a relief. But I'll bow to your wishes.
Guess it is best I leave my fruit knife, cheese gouger, and sporks at home on Sunday mornings. I may be tempted to use them.
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