at some point there may be pictures

Having been raised in Texas I am, by nature, a sun baby and a hot weather girl (read that as you please). Give me sun and lots of it and I'm a happy camper. I can even tolerate relatively tough cold weather IF there is an abundant source of sunlight. As it is, living in DC is about as far north as I can tolerate and still stay sane. I did two years hard time in the mid-west and learned this lesson at great personal sacrifice. By the time February rolls around in DC I'm climbing the walls jonesing for a little sun. Just two days of sun. That's all I need and I'll quit pacing at the window like a frantic house cat. So with this in mind, and knowing that this would be a milestone birthday for me, I succumbed to a moment of pure decadence and booked a cruise for myself in January.

Now this is where the story gets sad. I asked everyone I knew if they would like to come with me. Everyone. I asked friends. I asked family. Nope, not a one would go. My married friends all have spouses and my single friends are all destitute. I came very close to inviting the produce guy at the supermarket who always checks me out when I'm buying organic spinach (again, read that as you please), but figured that if that went south the negative consequences might hit a little to close to home. No, if I was going to go on a cruise in January, I was going to have to go all by lonesome. Well, okay then. I said to myself, Self, you've traveled much farther on your own and had great adventures by yourself; there is no reason not to take to the high seas on your own. (Just between you and me, myself can get a little preachy and begin to sound like a bad motivational speaker, but her intentions are pure and ultimately no harm has ever endured from her busybody ways.) So just like that I booked that cruise -- my very first cruise ever.

As it happens there were a number of factors which influenced my booking the cruise. The first and foremost factor being the promise of at least two days of sun in the middle of January when I knew I would most desperately need it. The next factor was of course price, but there are a lot options available when it comes to cruising so that didn't box me in too much at the outset. Then I discovered that I could sail out of the Port of Baltimore. Very quickly cruising as a vacation option suddenly became a much better financial choice because I wasn't going to have to go to the expense of flying to the port of origin. An inexpensive cruise becomes much more expensive if you have to purchase round trip airfare just to get to and from the boat. So, yea! for sailing out of Baltimore. Then I discovered that there was a cruise leaving on my birthday! That's got to be fortuitous, right? Lonely, single woman cruising out of Baltimore in January--that's got fabulous adventure written all over it! So I booked my little birthday cruise and, knowing that all I really wanted out of the bargain was two days of sun, I booked the least expensive inside cabin I could find. It was a marvelous boon to have the cruise line call me several weeks later to inform me that, with my permission of course and at no additional expense, they were going to upgrade my cabin! It seems that the ship was about to undergo some renovation and that by the time I set sail the cabin I originally booked would have been converted to a storage closet. Would I mind terribly much if they moved me to an cabin with an obstructed view? Of course not! say I.

So that's how I found myself in January on my way to the Bahamas celebrating my birthday on the Carnival Pride. It was only while I was on the cruise that I discovered certain key details which could have perhaps better shaped my expectations of said cruise experience. Such is the fate of the cruise novice. It turns out that this cruise is the cheapest cruise on the cheapest cruise line of the entire year. At no other time will you find such a rock bottom price for adventure. It also gradually came to my attention over the course of the week long cruise that the Carnival Pride is in fact the failed dedicated LGBT ship of the line. So, not only have I managed to book myself on a gay cruise ship, but on a failed gay cruise ship. Happy Birthday, Goo! Wasn't this always how you dreamed of spending your fortieth birthday? Alone, surrounded by strangers--octogenarians, frat boys, and family reunions--on the saddest gay ship (or the gayest sad ship) in the fleet? Bon voyage, Goo! Don't take it too hard. It could be worse. At least you're not like the chick at the next table who's friend-with-benefits decided the benefits weren't good enough for a cruise to the Bahamas. You might be cruising alone, but at least you didn't get stuck for someone else's fare.

And that's the story of my birthday this year. :) I've got more cruise stories. More sad, gay, cruise stories, but I think this is enough for a start. My apologies to those of you who have been waiting six months for me to tell you anything about this. And if I've been so out of touch that you haven't even known you were waiting for stories about this, well, my apologies for that too.