Saturday, December 27, 2008

coddling

I’m enjoying a lovely Christmas and I hope you can say the same. If Christmas isn’t your thing, I hope at the very least you’re finding a moment’s respite during these cold winter months. With the exception of a couple of bitter days, we’ve had a very mild winter thus far in this little corner of the world. Given that I’m not a winter enthusiast, this comes as a great relief to me. I may not be getting all the sun I’d like beating down upon me, but thank goodness I’ve been able to keep snug and warm.

The time from Thanksgiving to Christmas was, well, nuts. At work we had the pleasure of a particularly ugly round of staff cuts (as per previous post) and, for me, an increased workload. I’ll do a little bit of work over the next week, but for the most part my office is shut down until January 5. Happy Birthday, Jesus! I need the break; on January 5 I expect all hell to break loose again. But in the meantime, I’m taking care of me.

Actually, a lot of people are taking care of me these days and I’ve got to admit I like it. There’s something a just a bit fabulous about having people go the extra mile for you. Case in point: my Christmas presents this year. My first gift arrived on my cell phone a week ago. A message was left on my cell by a beloved friend who’d seen me making a spectacle of myself in an online video and called to say how happy he was to see my smiling face. This would have been gift enough, but he then managed to give me a spot on critique of the video, and commentary on my boss, which had me in stitches. I’ve shared the message with a select few friends, who all ask which of my boyfriends it is (I wish!), but I never tell. As hard as I laughed when I got the voicemail, it is nothing compared to watching other people first smile at the sweet tone, then double over with laughter at the caustic commentary. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

My second Christmas present also came via phone. I arrived home on the 23rd to find this message on my answering machine (yes, I still have both a landline and answering machine—call me old-fashioned, but at least I gave up the party line and rotary dial):
Hiya, yeah, this is Brandon from the Global Data Center with a message from Aircraft 123XX from Captain Lucky to Goo. “Tuesday about 4:30, passing by high and east on our way to West Palm Beach. Merry Christmas!” End of message.

I played the message. Then I played it again. And again. If it isn’t obvious, Capt. Lucky is a pilot. I don’t know if you’ve ever had someone call to let you know they’re flying past and wish you a merry Christmas, but it was a first for me and made me feel incredibly special. If he made this same call to a half dozen other people, including his mother, sister, and fiancée, I have no idea; but it worked on me. Better than roses on Valentine’s or diamonds and champagne, Brandon’s voice on my answering machine was one of the high points of my holiday. To top it off, Capt. Lucky called again in person the next night; unfortunately, he caught me just as we were opening the doors for the first Christmas Eve service and I couldn’t really chat. Don’t worry, we caught up on Christmas Day as I recovered after the last of four major services in 18 hours and he cooled his heels doing a jigsaw puzzle in West Palm Beach. Poor boy!

I did manage a late night Christmas Eve phone call with Lit while I opened my presents over the phone. Luckily, Santa had already stopped by my place and she got to share my holiday glee. I’m not quite sure what Santa was thinking this year—not that I didn’t get great gifts—I did! I did!—but there was some sort of theme going on that caught me by surprise. I received a packet of my favorite cookies, a little case (similar to a pencil box) containing two pair of chopsticks (one big, one little, one smooth, of textured—kind of like the Japanese equivalent of dinner pair and luncheon pair), a jar of chicken-tomato bouillon, a packet of instant soup, and a used VHS copy of Mr. Holland’s Opus. Okay, maybe “glee” was overstating it a little, but Christmas in our house has never been about the expected. From Lit I received a set of six tiny Bohemian glasses, which at this point we assume are for liqueur, a British dessert cookbook published in 1980, a single, brand-new hot pad (which she claims had been left in the gift box recycled from two years ago when I got the box and an ornament at a choir party, so technically it was given to me by someone else and she just shipped it along), a pudding mould she’d picked up at an estate sale, and a boxed pair of Royal Worcester egg coddlers in the “Birds” pattern (regular, not king size). I’m willing to bet I’m the only person you know who got egg coddlers for Christmas. It’s definitely the coolest gift I’ve gotten in years. Of course, I’m now obligated to come up with a menu that involves coddled eggs, liqueurs, and steamed pudding, but Lit knows I like a challenge. And, if this seems like a weird, random list of stuff to make up a Christmas gift, well, maybe you’re right. There’s certainly not a bit of I would have thought to ask for, but it does clearly exhibit that she’s always thinking about me. Everywhere she goes, every sale she hits all year long she’s looking to see what she might find that I don’t even know I want and she’s usually right.

Then I got a gift via e-mail. This one I asked for, but didn’t really think I’d get—kind of like when you ask your parents for a pony. (Actually, I don’t think I ever asked my parents for a pony, that’s something kids in books and movies do, not kids who grow up in major urban areas. If your response is that YOU asked for a pony (and got one), good on you, but this is my Christmas tale I’m telling, so go blog on your own dime.) But this year, I mustered up my courage and asked a friend for what I really wanted and miracle of miracles if it didn’t show up in my inbox on Christmas Day! And, even though I asked for it, it caught me totally by surprise and it was even better than I hoped.

The last Christmas present I’ll tell you about involves my friend B who came over for Christmas dinner and by coming gave me a terrific Christmas present. I got to clean my house (kind of), and shop for groceries, cook a delicious meal, lay out my best china, and sit at the dinner table like a civilized human being. She also brought Mississippi Mud-pie brownies. Delish! Now in order to understand how fabulous a present this was, I have to back track and tell you have awful my Thanksgiving was. It really, really sucked. I was exhausted and angry from work (what with all the layoffs and other assorted changes) and spent the day alone. No phone calls, no e-mails, no dinner companions: alone. Several people said to me going into the holiday things like “you should go out with/get together with some friends”; they said these things until I wanted to scream out to them that telling me what I “should” do was a wonderful way of pointing out that I wasn’t included in their plans and I had best make plans to be with other people. No one ever explained who those other people were. If I haven’t made it clear, I was miserably depressed. I did try and make plans with local friends, but everyone was leaving town, or having family in, or generally booked and their plans didn’t include me. I spent the day wound up and pacing, too busy chasing myself around in my head to watch parades or movies, or read, as I nibbled on leftover Chinese food. Capt. Lucky did call late in the evening and chided me for not having gone out, but he can’t really conceive of my reluctance to force myself on other people. He’s known me so long now that he has no memory of my ever having been shy or cautious with him. So, having endured such a crappy Thanksgiving I looked ahead to Christmas and got pro-active and invited B over for dinner and I’m so glad I did, because without her it would have been, if not awful, at the very least lonely. By coming over to my house and letting me coddle her little bit, she helped me make Christmas out of what would have otherwise just been exhaustion. And it was lovely.

Monday, November 17, 2008

cheerio

As we all know, times is hard. People are being laid off in every sector and in my little corner of the world we’ve spent the last few weeks imaging and re-imagining every possible disaster scenario in an attempt to ward off what we’ve come to see as inevitable. We went through a vicious round of lay-offs in late spring, and we were told that this terrible thing was happening to regain sound financial footing. Furthermore, we were told that there would be no second round of cuts. As God is my witness, there will be no second round of cuts. Thank you, Scarlett.

Of course, if you know the story, once she is past the worst of her crises Scarlett doesn’t ever go hungry again but she pays an awful price for satiety. She will kill and cheat, lie and steal to avoid going hungry; nor does she ever admit that the luxury she enjoyed in her youth itself carried a heavy price. And so does life continue to imitate art, or if not art then, at least, best-selling fiction. We are now waiting our second round of staff cuts and budget slashing.

I keep being assured that my position is secure, but I only become more uneasy with every reassurance. Even if I can keep my job, will my pay be cut? Even if I keep my pay, is cost of living about to go through the roof as everyone—and I do mean everyone—struggles to survive? Even if everything in my life remains stable, people I know and work with, people I love and care for, and even people I don’t particularly like but upon whom I depend are going to loose their jobs. Some of them already have. So every time some has the desire to comfort me with repeated claims that I shouldn’t worry, I’ll be just fine, I want to scream, “Maybe, but what about everyone else?!”

In the midst of all of this we’ve been working to figure out how to make my final product as inexpensive as possible, and lest the point of the exercise be lost, to clearly exhibit a reduction in expenditure. There were about ten days here where it seemed that the appearance of having cut costs was in fact more important than actually cutting costs. I still have moments where I question the purposes of those making decisions in this enterprise. My days have been filled with drafting and redrafting cost projections and production schedules and version after version of finished product to the point of exhaustion. Yeah, it’s been fun for all of us.

The problem with redesigning my portion of our entire product is that everything is of a piece. In changing the dimensions within which I work, which up until now have been relatively flexible, we are forced to re-examine every other choice we’ve made to see if it is compatible with a new rigid format. Last year was, for me, a hard fought battle to make these kinds of choices early and in a scheduled fashion so that we didn’t spend hours and days drafting and redrafting at the last minute. We finally achieved a point where we are consistently, manageably behind; we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but can’t ever quite make it out. Having upper management suddenly decide to throw a massive wrench into the works is not helping my stress level.

Every day I’m reminding people of the trade-offs we’re making in choosing this path: we’re losing hospitality, we’re losing an educational tool, and we’re losing a promotional tool. We are making gains with this choice: better fiscal responsibility, better use of natural resources, and a cleaner, more contemporary look. This isn’t the first time this suggestion for change has come up; in the past when someone looking to save money, usually my boss’s boss, would say, “Why don’t we do things the way ____ does?”, I have always responded that the reason we don’t do things that way is because that way isn’t suited to the way we do things. I’m right, but it seems that is no longer argument enough. Therefore, one of the trade-offs we’re making is to stop doing things the way we do things and do them instead in a way which will fit a proscribed format; in making this choice, I believe we’re losing integrity.

But, perhaps, I’m too quick to judge. I was chatting with a colleague this week about all of these things, a colleague whose work is on the absolute periphery of mine, and we got to talking about the box of Cheerios. You see, every week at our largest Sunday morning service a plate collection is received and presented to God at the altar. Along with the cash offering—pardon my vulgarity, but let’s call a spade a spade—one of the most annoying ushers I’ve ever met solicits the most telegenic children of the day to carry forward a basket of foodstuffs as an offering to God. The contents of the basket have not changed during the time I’ve been here (except at Easter when, to my horror, the annoying usher included two cheap, pastel stuffed bunnies in the basket). I am irritated that the same institutional size box of name brand breakfast cereal is given to God week after week. I am also irritated that we pander to sentimentality by seeking out unwitting children who will present the most attractive picture. I am further irritated that we make no statement explaining this practice of ours; it is assumed that because the priest asked that we make an offering and has reminded us that all things come from God, we will draw the appropriate conclusion when we see some adorable tots taking an enormous box of America’s most beloved cold cereal to the Table of the Lord. Then, my colleague says to me, “You know the box is empty, right?” Just when you think it can’t get worse.

I may not always agree with the liturgical choices that are made for our worship, but for better or worse they have always had the integrity of being our choices. Would I do things differently? Yes. Would you? Yes to that, too. Admit it, there is always that hymn you don’t particularly like, that prayer that seemed awkward, that passage of scripture that doesn’t make any sense (or which makes explicit sense and with which you simply disagree). So, I will declare again that while I may not always agree with the choices that are made for our worship, they are deliberate, intentional choices made in the belief that they will best serve our needs. So, when I write that in changing the parameters of my work, we will be forced to re-examine every other choice we have made for the coming year, I’m not exaggerating; I’m stating fact. When we limit our worship of the Lord to what will fit within fixed parameters, we will inevitably make trade-offs: hospitality, accessibility, evangelism, formation, creativity, innovation, and, yes, integrity. Every day, and some days every hour, I am asking again, “What are you willing to sacrifice?” If you get this, you must sacrifice that. If you want that also, you must give up something else. And then they start in with the questions, all of which are variations on “Can’t we just expand the parameters?” No. These limits were set by those above me and those above you, and you agreed that we could work within those limits. Now we must live into it.

God bless me, I’m tired of this conversation. All I can see ahead of me are weeks and weeks of tumultuous change, and just as the change begins to take root we will once again be in the heart of the Nativity storm. I can hardly bear to think of what Christmas will bring. This year we’re adding a “new” item to our holiday line-up, and letting the axe fall on an old favorite. “New” in that we’ve given an old friend a flash name, Carols by Candlelight, and moved it forward on the calendar. Amongst the staff we’ve taken to calling this service “Uncle Sammy’s Spectacular Christmas Jamboree: The Greatest Liturgy on Earth!” In reality, it is Christmas Lessons and Carols on the afternoon of Advent IV with the addition of a “candle lighting ceremony”. It’s all a bit theatrical for me, but I gave up on that score after our Christmas Day service won an Emmy last year. I ain’t kidding. Who could make this stuff up? But the coup de grace is what is happening to the L & C we record for broadcast on PRI. Think of it as a greatest hits liturgy. The plan is to cobble together a “new” version from the recordings of the last few years: carols, hymns, readers; all we have to do is record a new sermon and paste the whole thing together. No choir or congregation needed. It is the full-scale liturgical equivalent of an empty box of Cheerios.

Perhaps we’re really not giving up so very much. Perhaps I am the only one really bothered by any of this. Perhaps by February things will have reached calmer waters, but for now the seas are rough. Perhaps.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

sainthood

The saints we are today,
like saints in ages past,
do struggle, strive in joyful toil
to follow in Christ’s path.

We saints of modern age
must heed the ancient call:
to love our neighbors as ourselves,
love God the first of all.

To live a sacred life
make holy every act
speak only justice, mercy, love,
God’s reign on earth enact.

One holy people, we
blest saints and martyrs stand
before the throne of God the King,
sing praises without end.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

bookends

In truth, I forgot. I completely forgot he was coming. We’d talked about it when I was home on vacation. We’d e-mailed back and forth about it, and I’d avoided making conflicting plans with other people. But by the time Friday rolled around, I’d been so chewed up and strung out by the week that all I wanted, before I left the house to go to work, was to come home and take a nap then hibernate all weekend. Man, I so wanted that nap! Then he called and my elaborate plans to go home, put on my sweats, and curl up in a ball were all shot to hell.

He called in the afternoon to let me know he’d made it safely to his hotel. He was in town for a convention, and wanted to go register, but thought we could meet for dinner that night. Oh, and there’s a dinner Saturday night, I should come to that too. And what time were services on Sunday? Was that the service I sang at? He’d call me back in a couple of hours and we could figure out where to meet up. I was exhausted before I answered the phone; bewildered by the time I disconnected the call.

Five o’clock rolled past and I barely had time to race home and spruce myself up a bit after an extremely casual day at the office. (Seriously, I almost wore the sweats to work in anticipation of a nap.) As night and rain were falling in equal measure you would have found me in Dupont Circle waiting and watching passersby. There is a dread like no other that comes from standing in a public place waiting for man to show up. It’s different from the fear that comes with walking through a sketchy neighborhood or into a dark parking garage; that is the very real danger of physical harm. The eternity between arrival and encounter is an interminable period that can only be measured in comparison to continental drift, even in the rare case where the eventual encounter is certain. As the hour turned from six to seven he arrived and we randomly chose a direction in search of food. In Dupont Circle you can manage that sort of thing. We ended up at Kramerbooks & Afterwords Café, largely through dumb luck. I’d made a quick call to a reliable friend before heading out and she had easily recommended the place. I thought I’d misheard her. Nope. Dinner at the bookstore really was the recommendation.

We passed between racks and stacks of travel books (with me thinking the whole time that it would be smart to get a guide to the city—just in case anyone else ever came to visit). The whole evening was a bit surreal in its normalcy. It’s difficult to explain the strangeness of it all. I’m accustomed to having to pull a few teeth to keep the conversation going, and I’m a relentless conversationalist. On this rare occasion he was full of stuff to talk about. Where normally I might have had to come at a question from two or three different directions before getting an opaque reply, he was forthcoming and easily introduced new topics. I heard about his recent trip to the UK, the goings on back home, his growing desire to move back north, and more. It was nice. Refreshing. Weird. But nice. However, the truly stupefying part was when I asked why he hadn’t pursued a liaison with someone I had fully expected to catch his eye. He answered me. No hesitation, no pretense that he’d never looked her direction. He told me about the one time he’d asked her out and that there simply wasn’t any spark.

Now, I’ve heard this “spark” thing from him before and in the past I’ve accused him of carrying around bucket to douse any flame that might spontaneously burst forth. I don’t discount the value of an immediate electro-chemical sexual response to an attractive individual. It’s a very nice thing; and I, for one, enjoy it tremendously, but I don’t trust it. I don’t trust it at all; still, I’m not a man. So, I wanted to know a little more. What did he mean by spark? In this case at least, he meant a connection, an ease. He described an evening spent working to sustain a conversation, of questions that led nowhere, and a failure to find any common ground. No “spark”.

In the midst of all this the waiter came by to light the candle on the table before serving our dessert. We talked a bit more about current events: Wall Street, the election, and the evening’s debate, providing goodly fodder. As we finished up, we made our plans for the next day and parted ways in the steady rain.

***

Saturday morning I have a standing coffee date with a couple of local friends. We waited for our coffee as the breakfast crowd thinned out and exchanged stories of the night before. These are newer friends and we don’t yet know all of one another’s tales of days gone by, so when I told of dinner the night before and the dinner yet to come one looked at me and said, “What’s that little smile about?” All I could say was, “Nothing.” How could I explain that, truly, there was nothing to cause that that little smile—the same one I can feel even now curving my lips? Nothing, that is, except a profound sense of the ridiculous.

The three of us passed the morning in high fashion: boutique coffee for breakfast, a meander through a well-appointed toy store, wander down the block to lazily browse the drugstore, then decide we’re all hungry again and go for Chinese. All the while we chattered over office politics and national politics, travel and pop culture, men and money and the lack thereof. In short, girl talk. We were on this occasion firing on all cylinders, or perhaps it was simply that I was relaxed and for once free of the tension that comes with forging new friendships. I could have spent the whole day in idle occupation, accomplishing nothing of any measurable worth, but eventually it was time to get on with the day, and I had a couple of errands to run before my big night out.

He called just as I was backing out of a parking space. I’d almost finished my errands, but I still needed to buy gas before going home to shower and change. It was my own fault that I’d spent the day in lazy companionship so that by the time he called I was sticky, and sweaty, and running out of gas five miles from home along a busy stretch with only ninety minutes left on the clock. I was more abrupt than I’d like to have been with him on the phone, but the engine was still running, and we have laws against driving and talking on cell phones, and my time was running out. For the second day in a row I raced home, out of and back into my clothes, juggled jewelry and mascara, and hot-footed it to the metro station to catch a train, this time to the Mayflower Hotel. Witness me now standing in a hotel lobby amidst wedding guests and conventioneers once again waiting for a man.

He arrived shortly and we strolled a bit, people watching, chatting about our respective days, and waiting for the bus that would shuttle us to the evening’s destination. This was my introduction to the Civil War Preservation Trust. That’s right, I was choosing of my own free will to spend the evening with a battlefield preservation nut.

Actually, this is one of the things I’ve known longest about him. Years ago, when I was first making the attempt to befriend him—something that I liken to my mother’s penchant for adopting feral cats—he told me of his long term goal of purchasing the site of his “favorite” Civil War battle and developing an historical park. I remember the conversation vividly. We were sitting at an outdoor table, lingering over Sunday lunch at a gas-station-cum-Greek-restaurant, and suddenly this very private man briefly opened for me a window onto his inner life. We had known one another for less than a year, he was bored with his daily grind, and for a couple of hours a real conversation blossomed from what had been, up to that point, labored exchanges in which I had to work to prompt him to come out with anything more than short declarative sentences. For a brief time he transformed in front of me from a pretty, aloof stranger into a vibrant, fascinating man. Then, lunch was over, and he retreated, and years passed before he let me see him like that again. This is why we’re friends. This single incident is the reason I persisted in making myself his friend.

So there we were, enjoying a private party at Arlington House, the former Custis-Lee estate located in what is now Arlington cemetery, surrounded by Civil War enthusiasts. The house was phenomenal. It is currently undergoing renovation, so all of the furniture has been moved into storage, but it is easy to see how well it would suit me (and my fantasy life-style). Plus, the view from the front porch is killer. We wandered in different directions through the home with guides in period dress waiting around each corner to pass on yet another tidbit of information. My particular favorites were the office and the central hall; the walk-in closet/birthing room is not as attractive as one might hope. I loved the interior proportion of the house. The exterior proportion is another kettle of fish entirely and seems a bit much on close inspection, but when one considers that the façade is scaled to be best view from the valley below, it makes good sense.

After going gaga over the house we went out to have dinner under a marquee on the lawn. With my buddy on my left and a couple from West Virginia on my right we sat down to a delightful meal inspired by the period cupboard. I’m making no claims that this was authentic Civil War era fare, merely that the ingredients were what would have been available at the time. Between courses we were entertained by an awards presentation. The first award was given posthumously, and the recent widower accepted the award while giving vent to his rage at having lost his wife. By all accounts the late award recipient was a gracious woman devoted to the cause, but the unintentional lesson was that when inspired to honor someone posthumously, wait a full year before asking the bereaved to accept an award or the speeches could get awkward. The second award recipient was an impassioned gentleman who invoked what for me was an uncomfortable amount of god-language. He spoke a great deal about battlegrounds sanctified with the blood of the fallen, all of which did a fair job of delineating my own reservations about battlefield preservation. I’m all about learning the lessons of history, lest we repeat our mistakes, but I start getting edgy when war is raised up as a sacred enterprise.

After the awards had been presented and received, we were served our main course and the lady to my right smiled and asked me, “So, are you ready to join?” It was such a close parody of cult initiation that I was momentarily flummoxed before I smiled back and said, “No.” The West Virginians were, in fact, a riot. When I was first seated he was quick to ask if I shared a deep and abiding interest in the Civil War. He hoped, for my sake, that I did. For a moment I was tempted to mention my interest in the Spanish Civil War, but was concerned this might lead to detailed discussion of the campaign to win Madrid, so I kept mum. Much of the dinner conversation involved the gentlemen at the table comparing notes on battlefields visited, tours taken, lectures heard, and, of course, spirited discussion of Ken Burns’ Civil War. It has been impressed upon me that I haven’t been watching the right documentaries; the one I watched about the Japanese military in the wake of WWII, the one I loved about crossword puzzles, the riveting biography of Jock Soto, and the fabulous Independent Lens piece about women mariachis helped me not at all in making dinner conversation with the members of the Civil War Preservation Trust.

The keynote speaker of the evening, about whom my companion had been very enthused and had really given me the hard sell, was James Swanson, author of Manhunt. He was, I will heartily agree, an engaging speaker. He entertained us with the tale of how and why he’d written the book, rather than simply read from it. Even I, who have very limited interest in the flight and capture of John Wilkes Booth, was left thinking, “Gee, maybe I ought to read this.” As you know, my reading list is extensive at the moment, but I just might get around to reading it at some point. If nothing else, reading a book titled Manhunt on the metro is sure to drum up more interest than say, knitting. At least it says I’m looking.

After dinner we strolled back around to enjoy the view one last time and allow the most eager of the attendees to fill the first two shuttle buses returning to the Mayflower. The view really is spectacular and, cemetery or no, I could happily move-in tomorrow and spend my evenings porch sitting. On the ride back the hotel I was regaled by my pal with the story of Moses Jacob Ezekiel, Virginian, artist, sefardí, and ladies’ man. When we arrived back at the hotel we made arrangements for Sunday and he walked me to the metro. As I rode the train home I reflected on what a strange evening it had been. It was…effortless. A social function involving a lot of people I’d never met in a place I’d never been focused on a subject about which I was hazy at best would normally kick-off a massive fit of social anxiety, and I had initially resisted accepting the invitation for just this reason. But it turned out to be something I never expected; it was fun.

***

Sunday began for me as most Sundays do: I fought my way out of sleep in a vain attempt to haul myself to choir rehearsal by 7:45. I was, it seems inevitably, a few minutes late, but still managed to snag a seat on the front row. (Those front row seats can inspire death matches between territorial sopranos.) The anthems came off far better than we could have possibly anticipated after the strain of Thursday night’s rehearsal, and as soon as the service was over I was on my way to retrieve my constant companion. Don’t get me wrong, I was thoroughly enjoying his company, but I was mystified by how much of it was mine to enjoy. It never occurred to me I’d see this much of him. Taking into account my past experience with him, I anticipated I’d see him once during the whole of his trip, perhaps for an hour or two. By Sunday morning I was almost accustomed to his persistent presence and, admittedly, I was basking in it. Who could blame me?

I picked him up at his hotel and took him back with me to see my workplace, my current worship home, and my center of gravity in this city. I never get to be the one to show people around, tell them a little about this and that. This was fun. As we went inside we began to run into people I know and I got to show off my friend to my friends and vice versa. We lingered and chatted a few minutes with various people and had only a little time to orient ourselves before I told him it was time to make a claim for a good seat. Normally, I’ll hang back and let the tourists and regular parishioners fight it out for the better seats, but I wanted to offer him the best we have. The woman in front of me hesitated a moment too long and I cut her off to snag two aisle seats. (I believe I mentioned cutthroat sopranos and seating arrangements.) As we waited for the service to begin he asked me questions about the lights and platforms and such, and before very long the time had come to still ourselves and prepare for worship.

We have known one another for ten years. For eight of those years we sang in the same choir, comfortably segregated by our respective voice parts. I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve had occasion to worship in close proximity to one another. So this was a special occasion. Unique. Noteworthy. If you come to visit, you can bet I’ll invite you to come to church with me. No pressure, no sales pitch; you’re a grown up and can make your own decision about it, but it’s what I love. I am an avowed worship junkie and approach it with intensity. The hours I spend in corporate worship are, by far, the most intimate moments I share with other people each week. Here I was with my strange friend, in a situation so familiar to us both. We stood side by side to sing and I was aware that the height of my shoulder only just cleared the height of his elbow. We sat in chairs joined together in fixed rows and I was aware of the narrow, inviolable channel of space we maintained between us. We turned to exchange the Peace of God, he shook my hand, and I smiled at nothing.

After the service I took him on a tour of the chapels and then we headed over to one of the local haunts for sushi. There we met up with the Episcopal Princess and her knight-errant of a godson. If you’ve never had the practice of Sunday lunch you may not understand my sublime joy in this. I like social routine. Sunday lunch was for a time a kind of security blanket for me. It was a constant. They players might change, the location was always up for grabs, but the certainty of the routine did a lot to sustain me. I miss it. I really do. Moreover, I’ve always maintained that I only have one circle of friends. I won’t tell your secrets, but I will share your triumphs and tragedies with the rest of the group. I will also, when called for, mock you mercilessly to people who have yet to make your acquaintance, but only when called for. The chance to introduce one friend to another is its own special joy—when they hit it off, it’s all the better. I only wish I’d had the chance to introduce him to more of my local friends.

Before much longer it was time to go. He asked if there was time to stop by a bookstore before heading to the airport; he wanted to pick up a copy of Manhunt. The Princess gave me directions to Politics & Prose, which I remembered from a long ago visit with Brendarling as the nirvana of bookstores. We found the bookstore without too much trouble and hurried inside to complete our business. My friend headed straight to the racks, quickly locating the section he needed, and pulling a display copy of another work by the same author from a high shelf. But he couldn’t find what he was looking for. He began hunting Manhunt along the shelves of books in a more or less methodical fashion. I watched him for a minute before bending down and pulling the object of his search practically from beneath his feet. Two copies were sitting there on the bottom shelf, too low for him to notice. We went to the checkout and the clerk, taking careful note of his selection, suggested that if he’s into presidential assassinations he might like Sarah Vowell’s Assassination Vacation. She gave it a rave review and let us know they are having a Sarah Vowell event October 9. I love good sales staff.

I took him to the airport, arriving at 4:03 although I’d hoped we’d make it by four. This is a milestone: the first time I’ve driven to the airport since moving up here. Woohoo! We got turned around a couple of times, but my departing companion made for a good navigator—aside from that unaniticpated introduction to the steepest cobblestone street in town. I’d happily skip doing that again. The closer we got to the airport the faster the man seated next to me transformed into the man I had expected to meet on his arrival. With his mind fixed on the travel ahead he retreated further and further into himself, and in the stress of driving unfamiliar streets I made less and less attempt to overcome it. I dropped him at the airport, we said a quick good-bye, and as he walked away I smiled and reminded him to stay in touch.

Ha. Stay in touch. Who am I kidding?

Then I went home, and took a nap.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

say a little prayer for me

I'm being asked to provide more and more input on our public prayers these days. Today alone I've been asked to draft several pieces, tweak others, and cobble together prayers from a variety of source material.

Here are some of the things I've worked on today.
COLLECT
O God, our Creator,whose grace extends like fruitful vines: Make us good stewards of your vineyard that we may mindfully labor in the care of your creation, joyfully share the bounty of your grace, and endlessly praise the wonder of your works; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

This is the concluding collect for the prayers of the people on Oct. 5. The PB will be in town that day and my boss started worrying today that the prayers weren't quite perfect enough yet. This is the first time something I've written has been accepted on first draft. Of course, that led to this:
PETITION FOR THOSE FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE ECONOMY
We pray for those who suffer the anxiety and fear of financial distress, and for all those charged with the equitable use of public wealth. Encourage them and us to practice wise economy, that we may be always generous.

This will be used in the prayers of the people on Sept. 28. I started with the prayer for the unemployed in the BCP and took a strong influence from the Song of Lao Tsu (WLP 803). I haven't really lifted phrases from those sources, more that the final collect bears the impression of ideas in those works. The petition will befollowed by silence and then "We lift our prayers to you, O God;" to which the people respond, "You are the hope of all creation." The responsory part was written by someone else; but the title (which appears no where in print) is all mine.
A PRAYER FOR ELECTIONS
Almighty God, to whom we must account for all our powers and privileges:grant the people of the United States eager resolve in the exercise of civic duty; entrust her citizens with wisdom and discernment for the public good; and guide this nation in the election of trustworthy officials and sound representatives that, by ethical process and just law, the rights of all may be protected and the needs of our society be met. Amen.

Needless to say, no good deed goes unpunished and, the next thing you know, I'm working on prayer cards. Once again, the BCP shares the credit for this--wherever credit is being given. For a variety of reasons prayers are shaped to suit the needs of our community, so I did get to play a bit with this one. I kinda like it. I'm sure it will get revised by others, but it is a bit of a novelty to be trusted to do the first draft of a prayer.

I'm now fried, having spent a good portion of the day unexpectedly writing prayers. Time for me to go back to paper cutting.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

o god

Invoke the power of the One-in-All,
whose utterance cannot be constrained by a single syllable,
whose magnificence transcends the glottal stop and flat vowel,
whose vast dimension dwarfs
the constant repetition of a single Name.
Cry out, Infinite Identity;
leap from the mouths the wayward and complacent
that the air might ring with prayer and praise to
the Comforter, Counselor, Lover, and Lamb,
World Maker, Universe Builder, and Architect of Life,
Flame, Flesh, Breath, and Truth,
Dove and Key and Judge that all may understand:
You are WORD.

day labor




This week's gospel lesson is about how everybody gets paid the same, no matter how long or how hard they work. You can stand around all day moaning about how no one will give you any work, then work for one hour and still retire with a full pension. On the one hand it's a pretty sweet deal; on the other it does make one wonder why we bother doing anything if God's equally generous to all.

Yep. I really do get paid to ponder this kind of stuff with paper and scissors.

Monday, September 1, 2008

fairy tale


I followed a trail of breadcrumbs through the woods with a Princess this weekend. What was your adventure?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

kiss and tell

I was home on vacation recently and spent some time (not enough) hanging out with good friends. While I enjoyed all of the conversations with my friends, there was conversation that stood out from the rest. Because I love putting the screws to my friends, I will share the highlights with you. Names will be withheld to protect the guilty.

-- my soon-to-be-40 bachelor friend recognizes he's lonely and wants to "build a home"; jury is still out on whether this is a literal or figurative home

-- he most recently dated a 22-year-old

-- she blew him off shortly after he clarified their age difference

-- he makes the mistake of bitching to me about how she never returned phones calls, emails, etc.

-- I point out this is what we call "KARMA" and that I've lost track of the number of times he's failed to return phone calls and emails, backed out of plans at the last minute, or failed to show up after making plans

-- we discuss the error of dating inappropriately young women

-- we discuss the avoidance techniques he's been employing for years to evade eligible women (total denial and obliviousness to this on his part)

-- I point out that his friends would be more than happy to set him up; he says he has no local friends

-- I point out that women get nervous about men who can't sustain friendships; it suggests they can't sustain any OTHER kind of relationship either

-- I reiterate how he's failed to return phone calls and emails, breaks dates, and stands people up; his friends have been victims of this for years

-- he entertains the notion of cultivating a "bad boy" persona in order to attract women

-- I point out that he's already enough of a jackass without making that his primary selling point

-- we discuss creating an image of stability; he sold his house last year and moved into a garage apartment (I pointed out at the time that this would be a red flag for most women)

-- I stress his pattern of dating women who are inherently unsuitable: too young (22 for God's sake?!?!?!?!), live too far away, he won't take them home to mother, etc.

-- he explains that he didn't exactly "date" the 22-year-old; they made out a few times after playing spin-the-bottle at a cast party

-- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- we discuss the advisability of getting dating advice from a mutual friend

-- I discreetly decline to discuss our mutual friend's own dating dilemmas; if nothing else, those two will bolster one another up

Seriously, I'm sorry to see a friend in a less than happy state, but I've got to shake my head over some the truly bonehead moves I've been witness to in this case. And while this recounting will suggest a less than attractive man, to those unfamiliar with my buddy, this is not the case. I've known women and men both to swoon and go starry-eyed at their first encounter with him. I recall having been at a reception a few years ago and watching him cut a swath through the gathering with a woman trailing at his heels like a well-trained pup. He never even turned his head her way as she followed him out the door. I turned to the woman standing next to me, who had witnessed the same event and remarked on the pathetic nature of the encounter. She agreed and then asked me if he was seeing anyone.

So, if you're of legal age and interested in meeting a frustrated, withholding introvert who claims he MIGHT be ready to change his ways, let me hear from you. I know just the guy!

DISCLAIMER: I have no room to talk. My romantic life is even more pathetic.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

2008 Mississippi Conference on Church Music and Liturgy: Transforming Your World as Performer

I was asked to write a blogpost for a conference I attended last week. I'm double dipping by posting it here as well, so that you guys can know what I've been up to.



Although it was the last full day of the Conference, the day opened just as the others had begun. The morning people bouncing into the dining hall at seven-thirty on the dot for breakfast; the rest of us tearing ourselves reluctantly from our beds and sluggishly joining them in a steady stream in search of sustenance and coffee. We made our way to Gray Chapel for Morning Prayer, the last of the daily offices we’d share this week and prepared for another hard day of work.

Let no one fool you. The Mississippi Conference is hard work. The days are long and joyful and filled with challenge. In our ongoing discussion of the roles we play as musicians and liturgists, today we examined our call to be performers. Here was a discussion in which everyone had two cents to add to the pot. Some accept the title of performer reluctantly, a word used in the world of entertainment where the relationship exists between performer and audience and leaves no room for God. Others feel quite strongly that performer is a right and correct word for their role in worship, but stress that the performance is for God and not for the gathered. All agreed, I think, that the performance of worship is the group effort of all those present and active in worship, such that when the appreciative parishioner says to the soloist on Sunday morning, “I really enjoyed your performance,” the sincere reply may come, “Thank you. I enjoyed yours too.”

One outstanding question lingered after our spirited conversation: What is the definition of perform? I admit I looked it up; I have an ongoing love affair with words. According to Merriam-Webster, the etymology of the word comes to modern English from Middle English via Anglo-French which derives from the Latin per (thoroughly) + furnir (to complete or equip). I suspect the contemporary usage of performer as presenter-- that is one who merely gives a rendition rather than as one who wholly fulfills the act of worship-- is where we find our divergent responses to the word. Whether we view sacred performance as the full completion of liturgical acts, or as the thorough equipping of God’s people for their call to transform the world, or both, I’m left believing that the role and title of performer is one we must each embrace wholeheartedly.

I suspect that it was with deliberate intent that the morning’s exchange of ideas regarding performance was the precursor to the evening’s cabaret. The Rose Hill Cabaret (Back from exile!) is a much loved and highly anticipated penultimate act of the Conference. All of the conferees, staff, and faculty are invited to supply a bit of entertainment. Not everyone chooses to perform, but no one chooses to miss the cabaret; it is simply too much fun. This year’s cabaret was exceptional. What is normally a hilarious and raucous event was also this year a testament to the phenomenal talent working in small, rural parishes. Our breath was stolen from us in equal measure by laughter and stunned appreciation of the gifts and talents we had only begun to be aware of in the course of the week. At play in performance on the final night of the Conference we had some insight into what we might achieve as sacred performers on Sunday morning.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

just for jaz


This comes to us courtesy of consumerist.com. I saw this Jaz, and immediately thought of you.

By the way, what's for dinner?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

crafty

This is what I did at work on Tuesday.

Well, I thought it was pretty cool. You gotta love it when they pay you to spend a significant portion of the day doing arts and crafts.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

parable

There was a woman who loved children. She loved best the children in her own family: her own children, her nieces and nephews, the children of aunts and uncles, her cousins and their children. Next, she loved the children of her friends: those whom she knew so well they very nearly were family. Less, she loved the children on the other side of the world: the children she had never seen and would never meet, the children who spoke foreign languages and ate strange foods—if they had food at all, the exotic children whose experience and circumstance she could only hope to imagine. Last, she grudgingly loved the children of her neighbors: the juvenile delinquents who played in the streets, the brats who had temper tantrums in the market, the immature offspring who stank of dirt and sweat and childhood, the rug rats who squirmed in church, the adolescents who spoke rude words in loud voices. The woman loved children in this order. The people of God are like this woman. They love best themselves, for they are secure in their own righteousness. Next, they love those who closely resemble themselves, for surely they will be brought into the fold. Less, they love those who do not know God and those who know God in unimaginable ways, for they may be forgiven their folly. Last, they love those who are not same and are not other, for they require acceptance and refuse acquiescence, they remain present and resolutely apart. Thus were the people of God given this mandate: Love your neighbor as you love yourself.

Friday, May 30, 2008

ply the needle, mother

Lord, help me thread the needle
For my sight has almost gone.
Houses nearly shattered,
the fabric has been torn:
Lord, your bride is tired and weary
And her dress is none too clean.
But I’ll ply the needle, mother,
To mend your tattered seam.

Lord, help me work the needle
Warp and woof are pulled apart:
--doors flung off their hinges
and windows painted shut—
Lord, your children strive for faithful
But are often cruel and mean.
Still, I’ll ply the needle, mother
To mend your tattered seam.

Lord, help me hold the needle
For my joints are stiff and sore.
--brothers in the courthouse
and sisters gone to war!
Lord, my heart is near to breaking
And my fingers crack and bleed.
Still I’ll ply the needle, mother,
To mend your tattered seam.

Lord, help me drive the needle
Through this coarse and ragged cloth.
I can’t see the pattern;
the color’s all but lost...
Lord, please help me drive the needle
And I’ll help reweave the dream.
Then we’ll ply the needle, mother,
To mend your tattered seam.

Yes! We'll ply the needle, mother,
To mend your tattered seam.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

bittersweet

I got invited to a party last week. I’d heard the plans being made around me, that is in my general vicinity, for the last few weeks and had done my best to tune them out. The whole thing was so clearly not my cup of tea. Then at the last minute I got invited. You know how there are some couples of which you like the one better than the other? That’s the couple that put this shindig together, and as much as I enjoy his company, she makes me nuts. Unsurprisingly, the invitation came from him. He called me up at the eleventh hour and asked if I’d do them a favor and join in. With some reluctance, I agreed. After I accepted, she wasted no time in letting me know that they had asked several other people, but no one else could make it so I was their last resort. Whoopee. Glad to know I rate the bottom of your list.

But I was in no way prepared for what actually happened. I showed up in the appointed place at the appointed hour only to find myself on a blind date with a former lover. For a moment, it was as if all the air had been sucked out of my lungs, my stomach dipped and twisted, and my heart, oh! my heart ached in that pleasant way it hasn’t ached in years.

I had no idea I still felt that way. I never really expected we’d meet again. Sure, I have fond memories and the occasional fantasy, but c’mon…really? In fact, in recent years I’d begun to wonder if it had ever been as good I remember it being between us. Time distorts recollections; the good becomes better, the bad becomes worse, and the bland and mediocre just recede into the distance until it is easy to convince yourself that while the good was fantastic, it wasn’t worth the pain that came later. You were smart to walk away when you did.

Still, there I was surrounded by strangers and casual friends--none of whom had the slightest clue that Pandora’s box had just broken open at their feet. It was astonishingly easy to slip back into the old routine. The easy gestures and teasing banter that flow so smoothly between us came back effortlessly. We slid in and out between the mingling guests, sharing our private jokes, slyly preening for one another, and testing the waters for new depths after all these years. We fit together like flesh and bone, like surf and shore—move and countermove playing against one another in a seduction that until that moment I believed no longer held any lure for me.

It shocks me now to think that I ever thought anyone was unaware of what was between us. I don’t know how I ever managed to convince myself that this was a private thing that, if not exactly secret, was knowledge held only by a select few. Naïveté or youthful self-absorption convinced me that I could hide the bright light of our passion, mask or smother it, or simply disguise it as something else entirely. It shocks me more to realize that I had persuaded myself that the flames burned out at least two lifetimes ago. It stuns me to learn that the smoldering embers awaited nothing more than to have the flue opened and new air rush in.

We played our flirtatious game never mentioning how or where we’d met. It was too quickly obvious we had a long and intimate acquaintance, and none of the others cared to admit it came as a surprise to them. Instead, a word would be dropped in my ear in passing. “Wow! I had no idea…it looks like you’ve found a new interest…really suits you…I’ve never seen you like this.” And then from my reluctant hostess, “I’m so glad you’re here. We wanted you all along.”

At the last, I began to feel naked, exposed, and then I slowly shattered into tainted pieces. Those deceptions and lies, they were a big part of the reason I walked away before. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t build my life in this sea of duplicity. Yet here I was once again at sea and this time without anchor or rudder, star or compass, and all around me the siren’s call, “You look fantastic…you’re the best…wanted you all along…yes, yes, just like that…so natural, so right…I love the way you…really good…beautiful…the best.”

What a fool I am! So easily seduced by my own vanity, so quickly convinced of my own allure. For a moment I once again believed that this was a private game we played, rather than a spectator sport. In the venomous embrace of nostalgia I forgot for a moment that our every kiss and every argument had been played in front of an eager audience and that between us intimacy was the biggest lie of all. Idiot! Moron! Yet even as I castigated myself for my stupidity, blood pumped hotly through my veins tempting me to taste just a bit more of that delectable poison, to take just one more bittersweet drop upon my tongue.

Friday, April 18, 2008

bloodsport

Singing, for me, is one of those “challenge” activities. Other people may scale cliffs or jump out of airplanes; I choose to sing. Just like the gymnast driven to repeat skills until they may be executed with exacting precision, so do I approach my weekly choir rehearsals. I probably won’t make the cut for the Olympic team, but I thrill to the exhausting exercise of trying to get it right.

Choral singing, my sport of choice, is team sport. Part of getting it right is having the patience and the interest to quietly, nay silently, support the other sections when the focus shifts to them. It may take the basses (or tenors, or altos) ten minutes to knock the rough edges off this or that particular phrase as the night slowly slides from nine to nine-thirty and everyone has less energy and less patience. Developing the stamina to listen attentively to the instruction being given to someone else, then applying the key bits of information to what you yourself are singing is a hard fought goal where the offensive and defensive lines must work together.

Last night’s choir rehearsal, in my humble opinion and from my narrow perspective, was what sports announcers might call a massacre. It was the sort of vicious bloodletting that I normally associate with cockfighting and figure skating. Mind you, the singers were for the most part well-behaved amongst themselves. Inevitably, we had the requisite amount of passive-aggressive scheming. There were the usual and expected stiff arm maneuvers to secure the optimal seat with an unobstructed view of the conductor, enough light to read the music, and enough distance from the person who drives you straight over the garden wall that you don’t have to sit thigh to thigh with them. All in all, it was your basic Thursday night. No, the choristers were not the victims of yesterday’s exsanguinations.

Nor, as you might expect, was the conductor the object of the brutal attack waged between dinner and the evening news. Last evening’s rehearsal was conducted by the leonine assistant organist, a veritable tomcat of a musician, who valiantly endures these weekly skirmishes with the exasperated patience of a tabby trapped under a toddler. And, in fact, when he bares his claws or shows his fangs as he did yesterday, he does so with predatory restraint. Fear not for the assistant organist; he can fend for himself.

It was music herself who was so cruelly assaulted last night.

I cannot claim to have been in raptures over the music chosen. Earth Day is this weekend and we’re having a gluttonous feast of some sticky sweet pieces. I have never liked All things bright and beautiful. I don’t like the hymn setting. I’m not enthusiastic about the Rutter setting we’re singing this Sunday, which I know well and wickedly lampooned in a staff meeting earlier in the week. However as much as I may disdain the text itself, I don’t believe it merits the clumsy, jackbooted tread of nearly a score of wannabe Wagnerian sopranos marching across the melody line in a vain push to the sea. This puff pastry piece, so easily rendered a treacle-laden glob, instead became a battering ram. Ouch.

What came next was like a scene from a slasher film as Mary thro’ the garden went with a chain saw. Of the three anthems we worked on, this Stanford composition was the only one which was new for me and I was looking forward to getting a little meat along with the sugar cookie Earth Day repertoire. I wasn’t expecting to hear the soprano section rip the haunches from the score and proceed to devour them with wild smacking of gums and gnashing of teeth, tearing up the earth and leaving behind a blood soaked field. Mary was chased trembling through the garden by maniacal, hatchet-wielding sopranos screaming for gory revolution. Somehow I don’t think we quite managed the air of hushed expectancy evoked by the image of the Magdalene woman hurrying toward the tomb. Rather, I suspect our banshee wail would have terrified even Christ himself on that first Easter morn.

The final insult of the evening was again dealt to Mr. Rutter. Poor bastard, he never saw it coming. In an evening strewn with carnage, there was, I suppose, no hope of salvaging anything For the beauty of the earth. Having labored intensely for 90 minutes (because, let’s face it, slaughter is no easy work), we stumbled mightily over this straight-forward hymn anthem and crushed it in the process. No conquering army in history has ever managed to so successfully vanquish the opposition—without actually bringing them into submission—as we were able to do last night. Our scorched earth approach assures that never again will the easy strains of this simple melody float through the skies without being bombarded by friendly fire. Twice through in rapid succession and all that was left were the tattered remains of a once beloved tune.

I love singing, truly I do. And, hard as it may be to believe after my hyperbolic report of the evening’s activities, I am coming to really enjoy this group. Still, I’m wondering if this is really the right place for me. I need the discipline, the challenge. I’m never going to run marathons, or ski cross country, or win game, set and match. Singing is what gets my heart rate up and causes adrenaline to course through my veins. I’ve just never really thought of it as a bloodsport.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Disciples of Christ in Community (DOCC)

So, we had our concluding Eucharist tonight. In place of a formal sermon each group was asked to appoint a representative to speak on behalf of the group about "what DOCC has meant to us". Yeah, it was exactly as thrilling as you might expect. Please let it not be lost upon you that there were thirteen groups, so even if everyone was very succinct you could expect a 26 minute "sermon", which would then be followed by summary remarks from the Dean of the Cathedral. They were not all succinct. I swear one guy went on for at least ten minutes about his personal growth through this program.
Time and place, buddy. Time and place.

I offered to compose our group statement, based on what was said in our final round table discussion immediately preceding the Eucharist, so long as I DID NOT have to present. They thought this was a great offer and quickly agreed. We went round robin and I took notes, then mashed together a brief paragraph. They loved the text, by the way; they felt it managed to touch on something said by each of the eleven people in the group. When I read it to my group moments before our prep time was up, they turned on me and declared I HAD to be the presenter. Bastards!

So in front of the 150 people--including most of my co-workers, the Canon Precentor, and Dean--gathered in the Chapel of St. Joseph of Arimethea to celebrate the risen Lord, in the ringing tones that ensure every person in the room will hear each and every syllable, this is what I stood up and said on behalf of DOCC Group 7 (2008):

Disciples of Christ in Community was a healing surprise where we found a revealing way of looking at love and an opportunity for God to pour out love upon us. We dreaded the small group, but there we discovered the flesh that knits together the dry bones of lecture. We are now quicker to listen and slower to judge as we get back on track. We give thanks for the discipline of commitment which gave us time to build shared experiences and, thereby, community.


There was laughter and shock and then more laughter. Among those who've listened to me bitch about DOCC since January, there is some concern that "dry bones-ing" the Dean's lectures might undermine my job security. On the other hand, when he got up to make his remarks ours was the only one of the group statements that he directly referenced and, in fact, he said that we got it right. So there.

Still, I may come looking for a handout or a shoulder to cry on if I get pink-slipped in the morning.