Having been raised in Texas I am, by nature, a sun baby and a hot weather girl (read that as you please). Give me sun and lots of it and I'm a happy camper. I can even tolerate relatively tough cold weather IF there is an abundant source of sunlight. As it is, living in DC is about as far north as I can tolerate and still stay sane. I did two years hard time in the mid-west and learned this lesson at great personal sacrifice. By the time February rolls around in DC I'm climbing the walls jonesing for a little sun. Just two days of sun. That's all I need and I'll quit pacing at the window like a frantic house cat. So with this in mind, and knowing that this would be a milestone birthday for me, I succumbed to a moment of pure decadence and booked a cruise for myself in January.
Now this is where the story gets sad. I asked everyone I knew if they would like to come with me. Everyone. I asked friends. I asked family. Nope, not a one would go. My married friends all have spouses and my single friends are all destitute. I came very close to inviting the produce guy at the supermarket who always checks me out when I'm buying organic spinach (again, read that as you please), but figured that if that went south the negative consequences might hit a little to close to home. No, if I was going to go on a cruise in January, I was going to have to go all by lonesome. Well, okay then. I said to myself, Self, you've traveled much farther on your own and had great adventures by yourself; there is no reason not to take to the high seas on your own. (Just between you and me, myself can get a little preachy and begin to sound like a bad motivational speaker, but her intentions are pure and ultimately no harm has ever endured from her busybody ways.) So just like that I booked that cruise -- my very first cruise ever.
As it happens there were a number of factors which influenced my booking the cruise. The first and foremost factor being the promise of at least two days of sun in the middle of January when I knew I would most desperately need it. The next factor was of course price, but there are a lot options available when it comes to cruising so that didn't box me in too much at the outset. Then I discovered that I could sail out of the Port of Baltimore. Very quickly cruising as a vacation option suddenly became a much better financial choice because I wasn't going to have to go to the expense of flying to the port of origin. An inexpensive cruise becomes much more expensive if you have to purchase round trip airfare just to get to and from the boat. So, yea! for sailing out of Baltimore. Then I discovered that there was a cruise leaving on my birthday! That's got to be fortuitous, right? Lonely, single woman cruising out of Baltimore in January--that's got fabulous adventure written all over it! So I booked my little birthday cruise and, knowing that all I really wanted out of the bargain was two days of sun, I booked the least expensive inside cabin I could find. It was a marvelous boon to have the cruise line call me several weeks later to inform me that, with my permission of course and at no additional expense, they were going to upgrade my cabin! It seems that the ship was about to undergo some renovation and that by the time I set sail the cabin I originally booked would have been converted to a storage closet. Would I mind terribly much if they moved me to an cabin with an obstructed view? Of course not! say I.
So that's how I found myself in January on my way to the Bahamas celebrating my birthday on the Carnival Pride. It was only while I was on the cruise that I discovered certain key details which could have perhaps better shaped my expectations of said cruise experience. Such is the fate of the cruise novice. It turns out that this cruise is the cheapest cruise on the cheapest cruise line of the entire year. At no other time will you find such a rock bottom price for adventure. It also gradually came to my attention over the course of the week long cruise that the Carnival Pride is in fact the failed dedicated LGBT ship of the line. So, not only have I managed to book myself on a gay cruise ship, but on a failed gay cruise ship. Happy Birthday, Goo! Wasn't this always how you dreamed of spending your fortieth birthday? Alone, surrounded by strangers--octogenarians, frat boys, and family reunions--on the saddest gay ship (or the gayest sad ship) in the fleet? Bon voyage, Goo! Don't take it too hard. It could be worse. At least you're not like the chick at the next table who's friend-with-benefits decided the benefits weren't good enough for a cruise to the Bahamas. You might be cruising alone, but at least you didn't get stuck for someone else's fare.
And that's the story of my birthday this year. :) I've got more cruise stories. More sad, gay, cruise stories, but I think this is enough for a start. My apologies to those of you who have been waiting six months for me to tell you anything about this. And if I've been so out of touch that you haven't even known you were waiting for stories about this, well, my apologies for that too.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
please, step away from the cookies
NAPLES, Fla. — Police say a brawl between roommates over Girl Scout cookies led to assault charges against one of them.
According to the Naples Daily News, the Collier County Sheriff's Office reports that 31-year-old Hersha Howard woke up her roommate early Sunday and accused her of eating her Thin Mints.
They argued and deputies say that it turned physical with Howard chasing her roommate with scissors and hitting her repeatedly with a board and then a sign.
Police say the roommate's husband tried to separate them. The roommate said she gave the cookies to Howard's children.
Howard is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was released Monday on $10,000 bail.
A telephone listing for Howard could not be immediately found.
The Associated Press
Updated: 7:42 a.m. Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2011
Posted: 6:33 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2011
Found at Palm Beach Post
According to the Naples Daily News, the Collier County Sheriff's Office reports that 31-year-old Hersha Howard woke up her roommate early Sunday and accused her of eating her Thin Mints.
They argued and deputies say that it turned physical with Howard chasing her roommate with scissors and hitting her repeatedly with a board and then a sign.
Police say the roommate's husband tried to separate them. The roommate said she gave the cookies to Howard's children.
Howard is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. She was released Monday on $10,000 bail.
A telephone listing for Howard could not be immediately found.
The Associated Press
Updated: 7:42 a.m. Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2011
Posted: 6:33 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 22, 2011
Found at Palm Beach Post
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
miss kate hardcastle
Back in August in the midst of all the workplace nonsense - a sort of haphazard redistricting of responsibilities - my new boss (formerly my colleague) and I had a tough conversation about communication. We both were aware that in all the change our ability to communicate easily with one another was suffering. This had been one of my major concerns about the new structure; up to this point we had been wonderfully, happily collaborative peers. Now we were boss and subordinate.
In the course of this conversation we covered a lot of ground, and, at least from my point of view, not all of it was legitimate territory. One of the criticisms which came my way was that sometimes I am condescending. To which I replied, “That’s not always a bad thing.” My boss, “Umm, yeah it is.”
Now, I've heard variations on this theme since early childhood. I have variously been described as condescending, arrogant, aggressive, know-it-all, stuck up, and a bitch. This last was mostly during my teen years; I don’t miss high school. I've also been described as confident, assured, self-possessed, intelligent, and a natural leader and teacher. Often, but not always, by the same people who employ the less positive-sounding phrases.
Yesterday my boss and I were talking again. Just to be clear, while the previous conversation was difficult, it did a lot to clear the air and we've been working together well ever since. We have had occasional flare-ups, but nothing insurmountable. In the course of our conversation yesterday she brought up her previous comment about condescension. Having reflected more on the subject she has determined that what she perceives as condescension is really just me being right. That it is her ego getting in the way which colors how she receives questions and information from me.
To my mind, what would be truly patronizing is me agreeing with her and reveling in this exchange. In reality, my actual response was, “No, no, no. I’m not always right. Don’t persuade yourself that I am.” This dynamic too easily becomes a loaded weapon and it’s not one I care to shoulder, thank you very much.
Unfortunately for my boss she inherited with her new position a tremendous amount of long-standing friction between departments and, in some cases, between colleagues, much of which has, thankfully, died down over the last several months. However, she was previously out-of-the-loop in a lot of these tensions, so being confronted with the depth of them has caught her off-guard. She finds herself in constant mediation of workplace squabbles which draw her attention away from the mountainous workload we carry. We are all, every one of us, feeling the strain of long hours and too much work. Certainly, neither she nor I is exempt from this.
The only way we’re going to get through it is if we work together. We all know it, still we all find it hard to do. There is all the bad history to overcome, all the better communication practices we need to learn, and all the ego of which each of us needs to let go. Our work is fundamentally collaborative and when we shortcut the process of working together, not only does the product suffer so does the environment in which we work. We all have to begin on a level playing field. We have to find the lowest common denominator from which we can expand our process. Together we must let go of our lofty sense of who each of us is and come down to that place where we can meet as equals.
In short, we must condescend.
In the course of this conversation we covered a lot of ground, and, at least from my point of view, not all of it was legitimate territory. One of the criticisms which came my way was that sometimes I am condescending. To which I replied, “That’s not always a bad thing.” My boss, “Umm, yeah it is.”
Now, I've heard variations on this theme since early childhood. I have variously been described as condescending, arrogant, aggressive, know-it-all, stuck up, and a bitch. This last was mostly during my teen years; I don’t miss high school. I've also been described as confident, assured, self-possessed, intelligent, and a natural leader and teacher. Often, but not always, by the same people who employ the less positive-sounding phrases.
Yesterday my boss and I were talking again. Just to be clear, while the previous conversation was difficult, it did a lot to clear the air and we've been working together well ever since. We have had occasional flare-ups, but nothing insurmountable. In the course of our conversation yesterday she brought up her previous comment about condescension. Having reflected more on the subject she has determined that what she perceives as condescension is really just me being right. That it is her ego getting in the way which colors how she receives questions and information from me.
To my mind, what would be truly patronizing is me agreeing with her and reveling in this exchange. In reality, my actual response was, “No, no, no. I’m not always right. Don’t persuade yourself that I am.” This dynamic too easily becomes a loaded weapon and it’s not one I care to shoulder, thank you very much.
Unfortunately for my boss she inherited with her new position a tremendous amount of long-standing friction between departments and, in some cases, between colleagues, much of which has, thankfully, died down over the last several months. However, she was previously out-of-the-loop in a lot of these tensions, so being confronted with the depth of them has caught her off-guard. She finds herself in constant mediation of workplace squabbles which draw her attention away from the mountainous workload we carry. We are all, every one of us, feeling the strain of long hours and too much work. Certainly, neither she nor I is exempt from this.
The only way we’re going to get through it is if we work together. We all know it, still we all find it hard to do. There is all the bad history to overcome, all the better communication practices we need to learn, and all the ego of which each of us needs to let go. Our work is fundamentally collaborative and when we shortcut the process of working together, not only does the product suffer so does the environment in which we work. We all have to begin on a level playing field. We have to find the lowest common denominator from which we can expand our process. Together we must let go of our lofty sense of who each of us is and come down to that place where we can meet as equals.
In short, we must condescend.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
cutlery
A new phrase quickly making its way into our workplace lingo is, "May I borrow your fruit knife?" This phrase is understood to be code for, "I'm about to stick a shiv in someone."
The variant, "Where is your fruit knife?", often expelled in duple iterations, is likewise understood to take on the slightly more emphatic meaning, "Seriously, I'm about to cut the bitch."
The quick rise in usage is seen to have a correlation in the popularity of summer stone fruit among staff and a general sense of unrest.
There is some expectation that use of these catchy new phrases will taper off as autumnal fruits come into season.
My thanks to John and Katie Koellen for providing said knife as a holiday gift to staff. I have found it comes in quite handy.
The variant, "Where is your fruit knife?", often expelled in duple iterations, is likewise understood to take on the slightly more emphatic meaning, "Seriously, I'm about to cut the bitch."
The quick rise in usage is seen to have a correlation in the popularity of summer stone fruit among staff and a general sense of unrest.
There is some expectation that use of these catchy new phrases will taper off as autumnal fruits come into season.
My thanks to John and Katie Koellen for providing said knife as a holiday gift to staff. I have found it comes in quite handy.
Monday, August 30, 2010
paradise
I think I may have found the most wonderful place on earth.
When you come to visit, I'll take you there.
When you come to visit, I'll take you there.
Monday, August 2, 2010
just pict
This post is solely for the purpose of making Lit jealous.
And then, just rub it in.
And, finally...
Mmmmm...veggies...
And then, just rub it in.
And, finally...
Mmmmm...veggies...
Friday, February 12, 2010
for the record
I have discovered that as weird and twitchy and anxiety ridden as I become when massive amounts of snow fall from the sky and pile up all around me trapping me indoors, that is NOTHING compared with how nuts I get when massive amounts of snow fall from the sky and pile up all around me trapping me indoors while a former president is whisked away to the hospital with chest pains the week before Ash Wednesday. Just sayin'. For the record. Not a happy feeling.
I made it to work today and Bill went home, so all is now right with the world. Pippa has passed. Please do not scare me like that again.
I made it to work today and Bill went home, so all is now right with the world. Pippa has passed. Please do not scare me like that again.
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